The word, “bullying” takes me back to the childhood idiom, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Although a way to help children to not get bogged down by the hurtful comments of others, the lesson of that idiom never really seemed true. Bullying hurt as a child and it hurts even more as an adult. In a culture that is more connected than ever, bullying seems to be more prevalent than ever. Bullying could once be avoided simply by going home now is unavoidable because of the interconnectedness of social media. In their Resolution on Bullying Among Children and Youth, the American Psychological Association, summarizes bullying as, “commonly characterized as aggressive behavior that (a) is intended to cause distress or harm, (b) involves an imbalance of power or strength between the aggressor and the victim, and (c) commonly occurs repeatedly over time.” This short summarization reveals the root contradiction of a bully as a leader.

A bully is one who has power over the one being bullied. A bully uses his power in order to victimize others. A bully leverages his imbalance of power to force his will upon another. A leader is in a place of influence. A leader holds her place of influence as a steward, existing for the benefit of others. A leader recognizes that her agenda is accomplished through the willful participation and contribution of others. A leader knows that which is to be accomplished is for the benefit of all. The way a bully and a leader functions is almost directly opposite.

How a Bully Functions

   As already stated, a bully depends on his position of power in order to do harm and exert his will upon another. Sandra Harris and Garth F. Petrie write, “Not all bullying is obvious, as hitting or verbal teasing are. Sometimes bullying is subtle, such as consistently excluding victims from groups and activities. This type of bullying is particularly insidious, because often victims do not realize that they are being bullied.” A bully uses his position to accomplish his will and to exclude and victimize anyone in his way.

The power of a bully is also seen in his peer popularity. A bully knows how to work the crowd to garner their goodwill, this is how they often gain the approval and even endorsement of those with even more influence. A bully uses his place of influence, which itself is attracting, to garner the participation of others. Others attracted by the popularity of the bully, and not wanting to be victimized, only make the imbalance of power greater. Others become complicit in the actions of the bully before they even know it, and this demonstrates its “insidious” nature. The bully will subtly and at times not so subtly destroy another all in the watchful eye of onlookers. A bully uses others to make himself even more powerful.

How a Leader Functions

   A leader also has a position of power, but a leader recognizes that position as a stewardship. James MacGregor Burns writes, “Instead of exerting power over people, transforming leaders champion and inspire followers.” A leader recognizes the importance of the willful participation of others. A genuine leader does not view people as merely a commodity to accomplish his will but as someone of value who also will benefit from the better future achieved through their participation.

Leadership is accomplished not through viewing people as a commodity or a means to an end but is accomplished through relationship. James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner write, “Success in leading will be wholly dependent upon the capacity to build and sustain their human relationships that enable people to get extraordinary things done on a regular basis.” Leadership comes through wielding the influence of inspiration for the benefit others not by the pressure of one. It is the ongoing depth in relationship that fuels the participation of others.

Leadership is carried out for the benefit of others. Kouzes and Posner write of a leader, “They connect others to what is most meaningful in a shared vision. They lift people to higher levels of motivation and morality, and continuously reinforce that they can make a difference in the world.” A leader does not subvert morality but rather works from morality and raises others to a higher level of morality. A leader doesn’t use people, but builds people for the benefit of all.

Conclusion

   Bullying and leadership could not be more different. The distinction between the two are essentially important in being a healthy leader, follower, and in having a healthy organization. Accomplishments can take place with a bully at the helm, but this is often at the detriment of others and ultimately the organization. Leadership requires time for relationships to be built and skill to help others benefit in moving together, but it is wroth the effort.

I found these notes on my phone that I had jotted down after completed preaching through a longer book of the Bible. As a Pastor, it is my calling, to the best of my ability to teach the Bible in order to equip those entrusted to my care. It’s difficult to prepare people when they become bored with the subject matter. This is going to be a natural challenge even to the best preacher. The following points are a few things that I learned from preaching through the book of Acts:

⁃ God inspired the writing of books, even long ones for a reason. The book of Acts isn’t just the first history book of the church but it also, at length, addresses her purpose and displays that purpose in action.

⁃ Somewhere there is an intersection between the attention of men and women and your ability to hold that attention on a given subject. I don’t always do this well. There were certain sections that I needed to summarize in order to move forward at a pace that kept this balance.

⁃ As much as it was a disciple for me to preach through a long book, it is also a disciple for people to listen through a long book. I believe God grew me as a preacher as we moved through Acts and I believe He grew those whom I serve as I preached through Acts.

⁃ It was helpful to periodically take breaks from the series. This enabled me to address pressing needs of our church and allow both the church and myself to return to the series with renewed interest.

⁃ I still struggle with preaching long passages. I was not able to address many details in the text, but that’s ok. It’s ok, not because the details don’t matter but because someday, I will return to the text. Also, as I grow, as the congregation grows, I will understand and the church will understand the text more deeply.

⁃ I am more confident than ever that the Chief Shepherd shepherds His sheep through the expositional preaching of His Word. I am the Under Shepherd. I don’t have all of the answers to life’s problems or the wisdom to lead His flock but He does and He is so kind and faithful to tend to His flock.

⁃ Different genres of Scripture require a different approach in preparation and preaching. Acts is largely Narrative by which God reveals historical events and God reveals Himself. In Narrative broader strokes are often required as opposed to Epistles which require at times greater attention to details such as literary devices and language.

– The acts of the Holy Spirit as He moved the gospel to the nations through the church is the story of Acts. Although there is a constant tension in Principle-izing the text in application, the story given by the Holy Spirit is that given by God through the text not man-centered, self-help principles.

Even as I look over these lessons, I recognize that they reflect my inadequacies as a preacher. I hope that if you are a preacher reading these lessons that you find them helpful in your own growth. If you are reading these lessons as one who has listened as I preached through the book of Acts, I hope that it helped you in your walk with the Lord and thank you for your graciousness as I learn to serve you and ultimately the Lord more faithfully.

Girls,
Today life seems a little bigger and a lot more designed. Today is a bold reminder that life is bigger than I even imagined. Today marks the end of a struggle and the realization of something far bigger than me. Today the struggles of Foster parenting come to an end; you are finally home. You will never have to be frightened when we pack a bag or when a stranger shows up at our home. You are home. No more brave faces when we drive across town, once and for all you are home. No more will I have to put on a brave face when a stranger drives away with you on a visit, you are home. Today brings with it the assurance that I won’t have to wait by the phone to hear how my life, your life, our life will change because of what seems like the arbitrary decisions of a few strangers. Today, a judge will confirm something bigger, God’s plan. I wasn’t there when you were born. I wasn’t there when you took your first steps or said your first words but today a judge confirms that even then, when I didn’t know you and you didn’t know me, you were my girls. Today marks the end of your struggle of getting to me and the end of my struggle getting to you. Today is the realization that despite all that you have been through, God in His infinite love and wisdom has worked out His plan to bring you home. Today is a reminder that family is bigger than biology and genetics, family is the work of God. The Apostle Paul wrote, “But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who are under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.” (Galatians 4:4-5). The picture that Paul uses to help his readers understand what happens when a person comes into the family of God is adoption. Adoption is something that is received. I will adopt you today. What happens today it is the realizing of the plan of God from eternity past; you have always been mine. Today I realize that years ago sitting in class hearing my favorite college professor talk about his love for his children (some biological and some adopted); God was bringing you to me, even before you were. I realize that those key conversations standing outside of a Shoney’s or that unexpected conversation with a friend from the past; God was brining you to me. I realize now, looking back, just how intricate that God’s plan truly is and even as there are some things that I cannot explain, “the fullness of time has come”, and you are finally home. Today we all get to see what God has been working since before time began you are my daughters, always have been always will be.

Daddy Continue reading “To My Girls on Adoption Day!” →

There are many definitions of leadership but all of them have a single common denominator, people. Of all the things that are addressed in leadership theory, among all of the applications of leadership principles, they all ultimately involve people. Leadership is about people. The way the leader views other people matters. If a leader has a low view of people, it will be reflected in virtually every area of his leadership. The way a leader views people, in the most difficult situations, that view will be demonstrated in the decisions he makes. Every aspect of the leader is reflected in his view of people. It is on this basis, the individual value and dignity of all people, that a leader must find his mooring. All people, regardless of circumstances, possess indelible value and dignity. The value and dignity of every human life has been ascribed to every person without exception by God Himself. Moses wrote, “God created man in His own image; in the image of God he created him; male and female He created them.” (Genesis 1:27). The value of each person has been ascribed to them by God because of how God created mankind.

God created man in His image. Biblical scholars offer various contributions as to the meaning of being made in the image of God, but what is clear is that this image makes man unique among all of creation. Also, the image of God is directly connected to the reason for man’s existence. Moses wrote, “Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” (Genesis 1:28). Because God made man in His own image, God instructed man to, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth…” God’s instruction for mankind was to fill the earth with the image of God through reproduction and his position was to subdue creation under the authority given to him by God. Man has been distinguished from animals by God through his position as one created in God’s image. People have been distinguished from animals by God because each person bears the image of God.

Every person is of value and bears individual dignity because they were created in the image of God. Moses wrote, “Whoever sheds man’s blood, by man his blood shall be shed; for in the image of God He made man.” (Genesis 9:6). In this passage, the highest punishment for murder is prescribed by God, death. Murder is punishable by death because every person bears the image of God. Every person bears the image of God and is of the highest value because of the way in which they have been created. All people have been created uniquely by God because every person bears God’s image and a leader must view every person with value and dignity. The image of God is to even affect the way that people speak of one another (James 3:9). People cannot be viewed as a commodity or as a dispensable resource. People are not a means to an end. Henry and Richard Blackaby wrote, “There is a difference between giving God your best and giving God the best. Excellence generally describes tasks, and tasks are usually a means to an end. People are the end. Churches that concentrate more on their tasks than on their people are missing what God considers most important.” The way a leader views people will determine his priorities and the way those priorities are carried out. A leader cannot disconnect the way he views people and the way he leads people. Every person is created in the image of God and every person must be led with value and dignity. Continue reading “Leadership & Individual Dignity” →